Monster Magnet - Mastermind

       Monster Magnet is a stoner metal band from New Jersey, formed in 1989. I'll dispense with the band's history and personnel changes, suffice to say, that Dave Wyndorf is the band's frontman, guitarist and primary creative force. So it is written, so shall it be done. I should also mention the fact, that Monster Magnet is one of my all - time favorite bands!

       It will come as a surprise then, that what I have to say about their latest album, "Mastermind", is, shall we say, inversely positive. "Mastermind's" lacklustre performace is about as depressing as a three legged dog limping after a ball! Seemingly, it's still Monster Magnet, at least at first glance (listen?), most of the components that made their music so interesting and fun are still there. But that's just the first impression, because if you listen just a bit more carefully, constipated grunting becomes clearly audible. Everything is extremely contrived and artificial, as opposed to the brilliant old albums, where a sense of a divine tripout came naturally. The feeling of complete improvisation was one of the more winning charms of the old material.

       I must confess, that "God Says No", released in 2000, was the last Monster Magnet album I truly liked. It stands to reason then, that I approached "Mastermind" with cautious skepticizm. That, however, did not shield me from the powerful blow of boredom, lack of any sort of vibrancy and the overpowering mediocrity radiating from the album! Even the lukewarm "Monolithic Baby!" or "4 Way Diablo" had, each of them, at least one catchy tune. "Mastermind" simply floors you with its monotonous droning, akin to gray toilet paper, irritating your ears almost as bad as the TP shredded your anal opening.

       "Mastermind" lacks the brilliantly nonsensical lyrics (I talk to planets, baby!), masterfully inserted peculiar sounds generated by uncertain instruments, Wyndorf's vocals no longer sound like listening to some eastern sage, screaming universal truths at you from the interstellar void, or the abyss of his own catatony, but rather reminds me of a screaching dickwad. It's like The Smashing Pumpkins - you keep wondering where the smash went.

       So what happened? How did a band, which helped create and define stoner metal, fail so miserably? Maybe they just got old and stopped caring? One thing is certain - they stopped doing drugs. The only effect that had, aside from shitty records, was Wyndorf's horrific metamorphosis. From a skin - coated skeleton, he turned into a gotesque whale, similar in proportions to Poland's First Lady.

       There are probably many reasons for Monster Magnet not being able to put anything together remotely close to "Superjudge" or "Dopes To Infinity" for over a decade, but after listening to "Mastermind", I no longer feel like searching for them. Perhaps they should take a trip?

First LOG

As this is the first entry, some introductions are in order. The Washington Potty is essentially an english language version of my primary blog, Nocnik Bałtycki. The content will mostly be identical, though I believe we can do without the polish politics babble. But the aims and goals of subversion, dehumanization and mind - blowing cool remain the same!

So, for all you non - Polish people, enjoy!

The Editor